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Thursday, July 16th, 2009
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Blog combing produced Rural Alberta Advantage. I love this song.
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Wednesday, July 8th, 2009
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Things I've been doing lately:
-Gearing up for the club is open
-Getting terrible at writing in this journal
-Interstate flirting
-Misjudging people and situations with disastrous results
-Thinking too much
-Checking out
-Practicing self restraint
Things I haven't been doing lately:
-Crying in the car
-Asking the questions I really want to ask
-Planning for the more-than-immediate future
-Thinking things through
-Keeping my mouth shut
Resolutions:
-Get back on track
-Use time wisely
-Accomplish three not-fun-but-important things each day
-Ameliorate, ameliorate, ameliorate
-Let go
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no shame in my love for this song right now
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looking fwd to the week of the 14th.
maybe--as I swallow the words I need to ask but can't, or won't because I already know--it's because in my heart of hearts I know that 7/14 is going to be the only thing that goes right for sure, in that way.
excited about the sick move in. gotta clean it...
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Wednesday, June 17th, 2009
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shot glass, meet garbage disposal...
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I want nothing more in life than to be a super rad, fun time having performance artist like Peaches.
I'm probably not creative enough to come up with a show like that though.
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woke up next to Tow this morning in a place neither of us had ever slept. but we slept there together.
oh familiarity, you siren.
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I talk a good game about moving forward, but we all know which direction these pit stops require me to go. Mla is getting married and his new kid is due July 4. Congrats, I guess. Seems like I've reached that point where people I know are starting to drop. It's ridiculous. Wolfs bro is getting married. Everyone at the bar danced around the fact that he comes to Carolina to cheat on his Gf and that she's coming with this time. He mightve been asking me to stay last night, but I wasn't sure if it was right. Cheaters never satisy in the end. But I'm gonna drive it down in about 20 minutes. It has been two and a half years. I don't know what the purpose of this is, aside from sharing pastry. Racy texts have been exchanged. Flirtation bounds have been breached. Implications made. But mostly, I'm throwing a goddamned gauntlet. It's time to destroy what I want to keep what i've got. I'm furious, but committed. Peaches, I'll see you tomorrow. Tonight heralds the Herculean task that is maneuvering the exes, part 2. She's got a reckless heart... Posted via LiveJournal.app.
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I'm living in a teenage negative mediocrity
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maybe a little too personal
but for the first time ever I'm really starting to appreciate thong panties for wearability
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Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009
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lev killed people. awake and shit.
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me (2:30 AM): You working tomorrow?
KF: I'm in PA, graduatin' 'n shit.
me: Boo fuckinhiss I'm drinking alone and shit
Rusters: @ kimono. No more sushi. WTF?
Ray Ray: I'm feeling pretty smashed. I'll probably go crash on my couch.
Me: Not on yr bed?
Ray Ray: Maybe in the floor. Maybe in my car.
Tow: I was so down with that idea...bucolic splendor, my favorite evergreen confection, seeing you after a long-ass time. I will be in NC in mid-July guaranteed.
CB: There's a shot at the bar for ya...
me: I am gonna die...and you're gonna get a rash of drunk texts begging you to come over.
CB: I'm not opposed to sleeping with you and I do mean sleeeping
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When its all the stupid things, so overwhelming to me...Like paying my bills or showing up for work early or laughing at your jokes.
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Wednesday, May 27th, 2009
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can't wait to get out of work. in spite of that, I noticed that my bank account, once so pregnant with possibility, has shrunk back down to a little beer pudge, nothing significant about it save its former state.
working on a collection of short stories. picking up on some old songs too...we'll see how things go. first practice at the house tonight, but I don't have a PA. Hope CB doesn't mind me using his board. Not that he'd probably say anything if he did. Man, I am surrounded by the passive aggressive. You have no idea. Kill me if I ever get like that. If I'm full of bile I'd rather get it out. I don't know how to deal with passive aggressive because freaking out on people for sort-of-kind-of-roundabout-way being dicks is often frowned upon.
Really can't wait for June 12. The start of two weeks of (almost unadulterated) blissful roadtripping. I will see cousins, I will watch marriage, I will sleep and most of all, I will take my time. Do it right. Wind back down the coast. Sunburned elbow.
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Who am I inside/outside/inside/outside
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nur ein nickerchen. du fehlst mich. bitte, bitte, wie ein bettler.
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Wednesday, May 20th, 2009
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self-control. I remember making out with you as we bought this...we didn't have much then, either.
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